Rebekah Lorette Boyer

My Bekah is just about six months old! I can hardly believe it. Where has the time gone? It seems like I was hugely pregnant just days ago. Today she has started eating solid foods, is sitting up (still with cautionary pillows for falls), rolling over, scooting herself on her back, and is "talking" like crazy. She giggles all the time and has her two bottom front teeth. She is turning into a big girl right before my very eyes.

When Ammon was a baby, I longed for every new milestone. I was always so thrilled when he did something new. With Bekah, I just want her to stay little for as long as possible. When I was pregnant with Caleb, my mom gave me a beautifully framed poem called "Song for a Fifth Child" by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton. I LOVE this poem. It is about a mother that has a shockingly dirty house because she is up in the nursery rocking her baby. It makes me cry everytime I read it. The final stanza says,

"The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep."

Bekah wasn't sure if she liked baby cereal or not, but she DID like eating her bib

Bekah's first feeding
Bekah is a big girl!

Playing toys
A whole new view of the world


Bekah's miracle birth:

As part of my Bekah update, I thought I'd share the story of Bekah's rocky road to birth. First, we really didn't think we wanted a sixth child. Caleb was about nine months old and we were living in Virginia for Joe's work. I was busy researching vasectomies and tube tying. One day, as I was praying (not about this at all), I received the distinct impression that we were supposed to have one more child. I resisted. "Heavenly Father", I reasoned, "I already have five young children. I don't know if I can handle any more kids, emotionally and especially financially." For some strange reason, one of my big things I didn't want to do was buy a new car. We had just purchased our van not to long earlier but it wouldn't fit six kids. This really bothered me, for some reason. I left it at that and moved on in my life. It nagged at me a bit, but I wasn't ready for the idea of having another child. A few weeks later, during General Conference, I again received a strong witness that we were supposed to have another child. I finally talked to Joe about it. He told me that he had known for quite awhile that we were supposed to have another baby, but didn't want to say anything to me because he knew how I felt about the matter. We agreed, after prayer, to wait until the following summer (when Caleb was close to 16 or 17 months) to try to get pregnant.

February came, and my period didn't. I went to the dollar store to buy a pregnancy test, not wanting to waste money on an expensive one...surely I wasn't pregnant. We were using birth control. It was positive. Honestly, I was a little devastated. I was still coming to terms with the idea that we were going to have another child at all, and I was REALLY not ready to be pregnant yet (Caleb was not yet a year old). I believe now that Heavenly Father gave me those impressions in the fall to help me through this period of time. At least I knew Heavenly Father wanted us to have another child and was planning on having one at some point, even if not at that exact time.

I didn't feel up to telling anyone that I was pregnant. For some reason, I just didn't want to deal with the "you're pregnant AGAIN?" looks from everyone. Physically I was feeling okay. I was very sick and exhausted with Caleb, so I was relieved when I didn't feel nearly as sick this time around. Another true blessing from Heavenly Father. When I was almost 10 weeks pregnant, I started to bleed. I mean, I was gushing blood. I was sure I was having a miscarriage. I have never had one, and I knew that surely it was my turn. I cried in guilt that I had been upset over the pregnancy and now I was losing it. Joe comforted me the best he could. The next day, I went in to the doctor for an ultrasound. I was still bleeding like it was my period. Surely you couldn't lose this much blood and still be pregnant? My heart was pounding as the doctor turned on the ultrasound machine. I just didn't want to see it. Suddenly, the doctor pointed to the little beating heart. I was astonished. There she was, still alive and fine. I asked the doctor what this meant and he said that I had about a 50% chance that I would lose the baby.

I went home and continued my life. I also continued to bleed. I bled heavily, like I was having a period, for the next SIX WEEKS! I was now 16 weeks pregnant. I was a wreck! I felt like any minute I was going to lose this baby and I didn't know why. Another blessing in my life at this time was the fact that with Caleb, for fun, I had rented a Doppler machine to listen to his heartbeat. With the craziness of moving after his birth, we never got around to returning it and ended up just paying it off and owning it. It was such a comfort to me during this time. Whenever I would despair that I was losing the baby, I would listen on the monitor to our sweet baby's heartbeat. At least I knew, for then, that the baby was still alive.

Around this point, I started to feel the baby move. We STILL had not told anyone that we were pregnant. I was so sure that we were about to lose the baby all the time. I was sort of a wreck emotionally. I didn't think I could bond with the baby, because I was afraid that I would just miscarry. I was also getting to the point where I would have to deliver the baby if something happened and that was bothering me. I went into the doctor and bawled my eyes out and demanded that the doctor do SOMETHING...do an ultrasound and please, please, please see if he could find out why I am bleeding so much. He was very cold and clinical and told me that it didn't matter if we knew why I was bleeding, that he wouldn't do anything to save the baby anyway until I was 24 weeks (he said at that point he was LEGALLY required to try to save the baby). I was furious. I was a very emotional pregnant woman, and he didn't have the best bedside manner in comforting me. I'm sure the things he said had merit, but they were not given to an emotionally wrecked woman in a very good way. :)

I finally called my mom and told her I was pregnant. I cried again. She counselled me to find a new doctor if I was that upset by mine. I agreed. A week passed and suddenly the bleeding stopped. I mean, one day it was there and the next it was gone. Weird, I know. I never bled again throughout the pregnancy. I decided that I would just try to avoid the cold hearted doctor (there were like six other doctors in the practice). It was weird, though. Every time I tried to set up an appointment, HE was the doctor available. I couldn't out and out tell the office that I didn't want to see that doctor because you are supposed to be willing to use any of the doctors, so I would try to reschedule or something to try to avoid him. It was still always him. I think I saw him like seven times total and the other six doctors I only saw five times between ALL of them.

A few months after the bleeding had stopped, we got that bad crypto bug from swimming. It triggered something in my gallbladder. I had to go in and see the doctor on call (YES it was him...Dr. Death we had started calling him by now). He bluntly told me that it was my gall bladder and that there was nothing they could do. Try to take it easy and not eat certain things, but he would not remove it when I was pregnant. He said that if my pain got bad enough, he would put me in the hospital for the duration of my pregnancy on pain meds. I did NOT want that!! I had five little kids at home, and no family around. Again, I felt that he wasn't the most understanding of doctors!

I tried taking it easy (which led the incident at Walmart when I rode in one of those special cart things and scarred Lizzie emotionally for the rest of her life, heehee) as best I could and the pains eventually subsided. I made it to the end of my pregnancy. A month before my due date (again with Dr. Death), I was told that I could schedule an induction if I wanted. He said I could always change it, but at least I had a spot reserved if I wanted it. I decided that I would look at the calendar and pick a good day for me.

I found the perfect day. It would be a Friday and my mom could fly up and Joe wouldn't have to miss as much work and it would be great. The only problem? Dr. Death was the doctor on call that day! I was DETERMINED that I would not have this guy at my birth! I compromised and picked the Thursday before, with a new doctor. I was able to visit this new doctor for the last month of my pregnancy because I told the front desk that he would be delivering me. My mom flew up to be there for the other kiddos while Joe and I went to be induced. The new doctor was very nervous about breaking my water, because the baby had not yet descended (none of mine did until after I was in labor, except for Ammon). He decided to just put me on pitocin.

I had been induced three other times already. This would be my fourth. I am a very easy person to induce. I had never gone longer than eight hours after they induced me and with Caleb it was only three hours after they started the pitocin. So...we sat there and NOTHING. I didn't go into labor. Joe and I were sure that the IV was not working. Supposedly it was on full strength, but it never got lower. The bag was always full. They never had to get a new one or anything. We asked the nurse, but she said the machine was reading correctly. We knew differently, though. After being there all day and nothing happening, the doctor decided to send me home. I was very concerned because my mom was only going to be there for five days and I needed her to be there with the kids. The doctor said that every day I would go get checked and if the baby had dropped, they would break my water. If not, on Monday they would do it regardless of if the baby had dropped or not.

The next day (the original Friday I had wanted), I had to go to the office to be checked. Of course, Dr. Death was the one on call. He checked me and said he thought I was fine (I was 3 1/2 dilated and like 75% effaced this whole time). He asked if I wanted him to deliver me that day. Ugh! What in the world?!? My whole planning had gone into avoiding this doctor! I agreed, though, and a few hours later we met him at the hospital.

He broke my water with no problems and started pitocin. Within about two hours, I had my epidural (and it worked this time!!) and was at an 8. We could see that the pitocin was actually going down this time. It was a big difference in the IV from the day before. Within about 30 minutes I was ready to go. I pushed for just under two minutes and the head came out. That's when it got crazy. She had shoulder dystocia, which means she was stuck. The doctor was very calm, but he was very insistent that I PUSH and PUSH and PUSH. I knew something was wrong. She wouldn't come out and he was doing all sorts of weird things to get her out. She finally popped out and the nurses rushed her off. He asked if the baby was moving and they said that she was. She started to cry and pink up.

Later, we found out that her collarbone had been broken by the doctor in order for him to get her out. She is fine, though, and her collarbone is completely healed. She has no other known problems from the time she spent without oxygen, although her pediatrician says she has a greater chances of things like stutters or ADD or stuff like that.

After I came home from the hospital, I read up on shoulder dystocia. I guess it is every doctor's worst nightmare. Web pages talked about how doctors may only have one or two cases their entire careers. They said that if doctors are going to share their horror stories, they would be about shoulder dystocia. That is because there is no way to predict it happening until it actually DOES and then they have to work fast. The doctor has five minutes to get the baby out before the baby can suffer brain damage or death due to a lack of oxygen. I know in my heart that Heavenly Father needed this cold, clinical, calm, and experienced doctor to deliver my baby. He was able to perform under stress and saved her life. The other doctor I wanted to use was a new doctor, recently out of med school. I don't know what would have happened if he had been the one there. I am so grateful for a Father in Heaven who knows so much better than I do what needs to happen. I only feel chagrined that I never noticed that He was sort of "pushing" me towards this doctor all the time. Was I ignoring promptings or impressions because I stubbornly wanted it the way I wanted it? I don't know. What I DO know is that Heavenly Father wanted me to have this precious little girl. He provided the way for her to come here and I am so grateful for her sweet little spirit.

That is how sweet Rebekah Lorette came into this world. Heavenly Father had to pave the way for her, and help her overcome many obstacles before she even got here, but I know she has special purposes on this earth. I bear testimony that God is real and the He loves us. He loves us even when we don't do what He needs us to do. He is merciful and kind and forgiving. Always and no matter what.